Saturday, May 14, 2005

LAYMAMERICAN IDOL™

WEEK FIVE RESULTS



Ok, so I fully admit I haven't been the best blogger. I was juggling two video games, and a tough comic script. But I'm down to one thing, and my week looks pretty good, so expect me to blog like a madman. Yes, I realize, if I was a contestant, I'd be ripe to be eLaymanated myself. Then again, I DID post that awesome picture of a 1973 Lego Ambulance, so surely that would be enough to keep yourself safe.

Congrations! The casualties are mounting, and if you are still in the competition, you are the internet equivilant of Antwon Fisher: "Still Strong.. still standing." Of course, two of your asses get booted this week, and things are gonna be 100% cutthroat from here on out. Expect to see many of the players playing dirty from here on out.

Anyway:
WEEK FIVE WINNER: JAMES NADIGER

Cana-duh is the 51st State. It is a magical land, full of strange, simple people. It is cold there, and North. They have universal healthcare, and, unlike American, are not governed by monsters. People in Cana-duh are very small. They walk very fast, but take very small steps. They talk in very high-pitched voices, and chirp and laugh and sing. When they run into each other, they fall down, and they roll around, and laugh and laugh and laugh.
This week, James Nadiger reminded us all what it was to be Cana-duh-ian, and put a little of the Maple Leaf state in everybody's heart. He also reminded me of the original reason I feel in love with him. Let's face it, this mother fucker blogged like a FIEND this last week, and he had all is whimsically goofy shit, and a ton of his weird-ass "internet personality tests" (I'll take them all later and post the results.) Anyway, mad props to the J-Man's I Blame the Internets. Had he bothered to post a cat picture, we could have just shut down the entire competition, and declared him the overall winner and give him a lifetime achievement award.
Previous Odds: 14-1
New Odds: 3-1



Dear god. David Baron's My Zombies is back, and back with a vengeance. Gold teeth, big boobs, and a damning photo of another member of Laymanerican Idol. This one time winner really should have one again, but James Nadiger just NARROWLY squeaked by him. Still, as I've said from the beginning, Baron is the man to watch in this competition.
Previous Odds: 6-1
New Odds: 2-1


Mary E, aka Mary Brickthrower aka Mary the Wretched aka Sadie Hex's blog, How The Wretched Live. had a pretty good week. I enjoy reviews, and I liked the picture of the cute little kitten fighting with the little doggie.
Previous Odds: 6-1
New Odds: 4-1


While I like internet personality test, I don't like those stupid interview list thingies. John Oak Dalton posted one that largely concerned music. I like that he admitted he (like myself) is too told for emo, but he loses points for not mentioning Alice Donut or the Cramps. I figure his Nazi Zombie photo balanced that out, and kept him alive for another week. That and the fact I'm waiting to see his movie Razorteeth on my Netflix que. Anway, John Oak Dalton lives another week.
Previous Odds: 4-1
New Odds: 6-1


Neal Pozner, owner of The Wind, got a new job, so maybe his luck is turning around. However, you'd never know it from his blog. I was going to make a joke referring back to that damaging photo on David Baron's blog, but hasn't Neal been humiliated enough?
Previous Odds: 9-1
New Odds: 7-1



While I've said repeatedly David Baron will probably win this, Eric DeSantis is the person I am rooting for. However, his blog Litany of Schist is just boring as fuck. Eric.. .why not mix it up with some artwork on your blog, other than the douchbag DC logo. Also, Eric liked Hitchhikers Guide (as did James N.) It was everything I could do not to walk out of that movie, but I suppose this is a different post.
Previous Odds: 7-1
New Odds: 8-1

I don't get it. If you set up a blog to worship Sally Field, shouldn't you at least talk about Sally Field? Hannibal Tabu's Soapdish goes down a notch, just for its sheer hypocracy.
Previous Odds: 6-1
New Odds: 8-1



A wedding? A bunch of food? Darlene's Alilain's, Burning Kitchen reached a new low for tedium. Fortunately for her, there were people even MORE deserving of eLAYMANtion.
Previous Odds:4-1
New Odds: 9-1

Yawn. Another ho-hum week for Information Overload. Can anybody tell me while she is still in the competition? Seems to me, judging by the quality of her blog, she should have been eLAYMANated weeks and weeks ago. Anybody?
Also, I thought Information Overload cheated, and rearranged the Netflix que so Jon Oak Dalton's movie did not show up (we got stupid "Garden State" instead. However, turns out there is just a "very long wait' for Razorteeth.
Previous Odds: 10-1
New Odds: 14-1





WEEK FIVE LOSER#1: TRAUMA QUEEN

WEEK FIVE LOSER#2: SORE THUMBS


Maki Yamane only posted once this past week to her Trauma Queen blog, and it contained the world baseball. Fortunately, baseball is so nauseating that it even made Maki puke her guts out. Still, there are some things that you should not talk about in refined company such as this. And so, Maki must be eLAYMANated.

Let's face it, Owen Giani's Sore Thumbs is not really a blog, it's a web comic, so it was jus a matter of time before he got the boot. Also, as mentioned before, Owen and I are working on a comic together, and he hasn't give me a page in a long time. Hey, Owen, what are you, made of molasses?! Get the frickin' lead out, dude. Anyway, he'll have plenty of time back at the drawing board, now that he has been eLAYMANated!!

HALL OF SHAME
WEEK FOUR:
Marcus the Cowardly Christian's The Long and the Short of It
Digio's As Mayor of This Town
Darlene's Ollie Hearts Crickets

WEEK THREE:
The Rude Pundit
Dan Randlett's The Though The Ap
WEEK TWO:
Scott Robin's All Ages
Brian Perez's Logic and Nausea
WEEK ONE:
Paul Horn's Cool Jerk
Rich Amtower's Christian Martyr

1 comment:

Christian said...

I would like to propose a name change from Hall of Shame to Hall of Ball-Rockin' Awesomeness...ness.